X Files of the Caribbean part 2
by xylot3
Summary: For Part 1, look up Aquamarine07. An X-Files/PotC crossover roleplay. Will and Elizabeth are taken to the future to a POTC Convention, where Mulder and Scully are, and old friends meet. MSR and Willabeth.


Sequel RP to… our other one. Look for it on the FFN user _Aquamarine07_'s page.

Mulder – lateBloomer04

Scully – Aquamarine07

Elizabeth – PirateAngel1286

Will – Nahr

--

**Mulder.**: So tell me again why we're going to a PotC convention, Scully?

**Scully.**: Mulder, this is specifically ...research. Historical references.

**Mulder.**: I think you have a hidden agenda for going.

**Scully.**: -slips drugs into sunflower seeds-

**Mulder.**: Man, I'm having a strange craving for sunflower seeds!

**Scully.**: Mulder- want a sunflower seed?

**Mulder.**: sure!

**Scully.**: -gives seeds-

**Mulder.**: -grabs 10- YUM!

**Scully.**: So, what were you saying again?

**Mulder.**: I think-- woah..

**Scully.**: -fake concern-

**Mulder.**: We really need to get there in a big way.

**Scully.**: Mulder, are you alright?!

**Mulder.**: I LOVE pirates! :D

**Scully.**: I'm right with you Mulder, let's go! -goes to convention-

**MEANWHILE**

**Elizabeth.**: Will, what's that? It looks like a closet of some sort/

**Will.**: It looks kind of... well. Odd. I mean, it's red. Shiny red...

**Elizabeth.**: like a booth maybe

**Will.**: Yeah.

**Elizabeth.**: -examines-

**Will.**: let's look inside. It looks kind of big to be a cupboard.

**Elizabeth.**: alright

**Will.**: -opens booth door-

**Elizabeth.**: Hello?

**Will.**: -time machine magic-

**Elizabeth.**: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

**Will.**: WHOAAAAAAAAAAAA

**Elizabeth.**: -crash landing-

**Will.**: Owch. Elizabeth? Are you there?

**Elizabeth.**: My head…

**Will.**: Are you okay?

**Elizabeth.**: Oww

**Will.**: Aww -reaches to comfort, stops-

**Elizabeth.**: I think so. You? What is it?

**Will.**: -looks around- Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine... -distracted- Where are we?

**Elizabeth.**: What's wrong? -sees hundreds of people walking around- No idea

**Will.**: We're not in the Atlantic anymore.

**Elizabeth.**: Gee, ya think?

**Scully.**: OH.MY.GOSH.

OH.MY.GOSH!

**Mulder.**: What?!

**Scully.**: Mulder - Mulder mulder mulder!

**Mulder.**: That's my name, don't wear it out!

**Scully.**: -whispers- Look, over there.

**Mulder.**: where? -looks up-

**Scully.**: See, where that shiny red booth has landed in the middle of our convention?

**Mulder.**: yeah, so?

**Scully.**: Look at the two people climbing out of it! LOOK! LOOK!

**Mulder.**: ooh, Scully I want to go next!! Can we can we can we?!

**Scully.**: Mulder, LOOK!

**Mulder.**: I'm LOOKING!

**Scully.**: Tell me I'm crazy, but that looks like ... No, it couldn't be

**Will.**: -whispers to Elizabeth- Do those two -points at Mulder and Scully- look familiar?

**Mulder.**: wait... isn't that? It's the alien guy! Noooooooo.

**Scully.**: -breathes- Will and Elizabeth.

**Elizabeth.**: -stares at Scully, then Mulder- I think so...oh my gosh, them again

**Scully.**: -squeals, runs to Elizabeth and hugs her- HI!

**Will.**: Ah!

**Scully.**: Oh my gosh! HI!

**Mulder.**: what, you're excited about this?

**Elizabeth.**: Hi to you too

**Will.**: Hello again

**Mulder.**: so how are the, uh, love bites? Healing ok?

**Will.**: What? Oh. Right, those. You, uh... -uncomfortable- remember those, huh?

**Elizabeth.**: He's got new ones ;)

**Will.**: I- Elizabeth!

**Scully.**: EEP!

**Mulder.**: Wow.

**Elizabeth.**: -gives Will a kiss- Oh lighten up Will

**Scully.**: You guys don't KNOW how much I've missed you!

**Mulder.**: Are you still using the booth thingy?

**Elizabeth.**: Knock your sox off

**Mulder.**: ok, Scully, let's go!

**Scully.**: When we got back, I did some digging and I found these movies about you!! We're at a convention about that very thing right now!

**Will.**: Movies?

**Scully.**: -squeals" I'm your biggest fan!

**Will.**: What's a... "moo vee"?

**Elizabeth.**: Fan? And all these people...?

**Scully.**: Like... a picture that moves? About you two! And Jack Sparrow

**Mulder.**: that's cool Scully, but when we go into the booth I want to -whisperfabuloussexwhisper-

**Scully.**: They all LOVE YOU

**Will.**: A picture?

**Scully.**: What was that Mulder?

**Will.**: that moves?

**Scully.**: YES! And it tells your whole story!

**Mulder.**: I need you Scully!

**Will.**: like a moving painting?

**Elizabeth.**: So, what year is it then if I might ask

**Mulder.**: literally...

**Scully.**: Shush! WILL'S talking.

**Mulder.**: Well, sor-EE.

**Will.**: -blushes- Uh, no. No, go on.

**Mulder.**: Nevermind.

**Scully.**: -dazzled by Will- It's uh... its ... what year is it again Mulder?

**Elizabeth.**: RANDOM CROWD PERSON: OMG, ITS WILL TURNER. THE WHELP

**Scully.**: Willabethers: HOORAY!

**Mulder.**: it's 2008

**Elizabeth.**: -faints-

**Scully.**: Sparrabethers: KILL HIM

**Will.**: I... uh oh

**Mulder.**: -sees Diana Fowley in the sparrabeth crowd-

**Scully.**: You might want to erm... run.

**Elizabeth.**: -wakes up-

**Will.**: Who are those people?

**Mulder.**: you're telling me!

**Elizabeth.**: Run!

**Will.**: AHHH

**Scully.**: -RUNS-

**Mulder.**: Ahhhhhhhhh! -run away-

**Will.**: -runs away-

**Elizabeth.**: in here - runs in booth-

**Will.**: -follows-

**Scully.**: -booth-

**Mulder.**: Will, whatever you do, don't look Diana Fowley in the eye. Oh. Whew.

**Scully.**: That was CLOSE.

**Elizabeth.**: What now?

**Scully.**: That would have been terrible if either side got their hands on you two.

**Mulder.**: Scully, have I seen this pirates movie?

**Scully.**: Pirates of the Caribbean, Mulder? Ring a bell?

**Mulder.**: what bell?

**Elizabeth.**: I didn't hear a bell.

**Scully.**: I gotta go easier on the drugs next time.

**Mulder.**: Oh... maybe I did see it. But weren't we making out during that movie?

**Scully.**: Wrong movie, Mulder. We were making out during "A Crazy Little Thing Called Love" remember?

**Will.**: Drugs?

**Mulder.**: oh. I must've been thinking of Terminator.

**Elizabeth.**: Would it be possible for us to see this movie?

**Mulder.**: Drugs?! I am not on drugs.

**Scully.**: Sure you aren't.

**Mulder.**: -tries to eat Will's finger-

**Scully.**: You want to see the movies?! -TOTALLY EXCITED-

**Will.**: Oy! -pulls away-

**Elizabeth.**: Hey -smacks Mulder-

**Mulder.**: That didn't taste very good -recoils-

**Will.**: O.o

**Scully.**: Take some more sunflower seeds, mulder.

**Mulder.**: OKAY! -chomp-

**Scully.**: That's right.

**Elizabeth.**: -whispers to Scully- Seriously, is it drugs?

**Mulder.**: -faints on Scully-

**Scully.**: Oh yeah, definitely. MULDER!

**Will.**: What happened?

**Scully.**: -catches, tries to wake up- Mulder... mulder?! A little help here?

**Will.**: -kneels down-

**Elizabeth.**: Will, maybe you should try. Smack him around a bit

**Scully.**: Nothing too harsh...

**Will.**: -slaps Mulder's face numerous times-

**Scully.**: EASY!

**Mulder.**: WOAH!

**Scully.**: Go easy on him! Mulder! Are you alright?

**Mulder.**: -who's the black private dick with all the chicks?- SHAFT! CAN YOU DIG IT!

**Scully.**: -speechless-

**Mulder.**: I'm talkin' bout SHAFT.

**Elizabeth.**: Um...what the...?

**Scully.**: Slap him again, Will.

**Will.**: Will will do. -slaps Mulder-

**Mulder.**: wha... what? Are the Knicks still playing?

**Scully.**: Mulder, it's me.

**Elizabeth.**: You fainted on us

**Mulder.**: what a strange dream I had. Hi Scully.

**Elizabeth.**: You alright?

**Scully.**: You're with Elizabeth and Will and I, remember

**Mulder.**: Yeah I think so.

**Will.**: Yeah.

**Mulder.**: You saved the world, Scully!

**Scully.**: You're right, I did. Now what were we talking about?

**Elizabeth.**: Movies

**Scully.**: Oh yeah! We should skip CotBP...

**Mulder.**: I love movies.

**Scully.**: you know what happens. shall we watch DMC?

**Elizabeth.**: No!

**Scully.**: But Will looks REALLY hot in DMC!

**Mulder.**: yeah, why not Elizabeth?

**Will.**: ...I

**Elizabeth.**: Um...you know...the stuff between. It was hard enough living through it once

**Scully.**: Oh I know why. -glares at Elizabeth-

**Elizabeth.**: -is sad and guilty-

**Mulder.**: -double glare- WHY AM I GLARING??

**Scully.**: I should have given you to the Sparrabethers.

**Will.**: -recoils-

**Scully.**: See what YOU started.

**Elizabeth.**: -double sad-

**Mulder.**: It's ok, Elizabeth. At least you didn't sleep with Jack like I did with Fowley.

**Scully.**: ………….what.did.you.just.say.

**Elizabeth.**: -backing away-

**Mulder.**: It was before I met you!

**Scully.**: You did WHAT with FOWLEY?! Oh SURE! That excuse AGAIN!

**Mulder.**: we were sortofkindamarried -cringes-

**Will.**: -whispers- Let's leave them be, Elizabeth...?

**Scully.**: Oh you wanna play THAT WAY?!

**Mulder.**: no! I wanna watch a PotC movie.

**Elizabeth.**: -whisper- Right. What should we do?

**Mulder.**: Help!! -hides behind Will-

**Scully.**: -stomps over to Will-

**Will.**: -peers behind- What are you-?

**Scully.**: You wanna sleep with Fowley, then I'm going to do this!

**Mulder.**: -sweating buckets-

**Scully.**: -kisses Will - PASSIONATELY-

**Elizabeth.**: -puts AWE Dvd into tv- Oooh, singing. no death bad!

**Mulder.**: OH NO YOU DIDN'T! -faints-

**Scully.**: -pulls away-

**Will.**: -speechless-

**Scully.**: Wimp.

**Elizabeth.**: Ewww, Beckett was much uglier than this guy. a little taller though

**Scully.**: -slaps Mulder-

**Mulder.**: wahhhh.

**Scully.**: Wake- up- you- lying- cheating-

**Elizabeth.**: Ooo look; it's me

**Mulder.**: you kissed Will! -sits up-

**Scully.**: sn: hahah Elizabeth

**Will.**: Uh...

**Mulder.**: -glares at Will- Why I oughta...

**Scully.**: Yeah, what're you going to do about it?

**Elizabeth.**: Am I the only one watching this?

**Mulder.**: Will Turner - you and me. Outside. NOW!

**Elizabeth.**: Sexy wet Will!

**Will.**: Fine.-glares- I tell you, I didn't do it.

**Scully.**: You don't want to go out there

**Will.**: But it's on.

**Scully.**: Conflicting ships, remember? Go ahead right here.

**Mulder.**: You participated!! How do you want to do this, Turner?

**Elizabeth.**: What the bloody hell is going on?

**Scully.**: I can see it now... Skill

**Will.**: -glares- Sword.

**Scully.**: Or... Wully -dreamily- A new ship has sailed.

**Mulder.**: I can't fight with a sword! -panics-

**Will.**: Well that's your problem, hmm?

**Mulder.**: Shit!

**Scully.**: Just wrestle for it.

**Elizabeth.**: -is lost-

**Will.**: -unsheathes- Come on.

**Mulder.**: ok that might work

**Scully.**: I kissed Will, Mulder is jealous, sit back and prepare yourself for some fun, Elizabeth.

**Will.**: -holds sword away- You aren't getting this soon.

**Elizabeth.**: Wait, when did you kiss Will?

**Scully.**: Erm, two minutes ago?

**Mulder.**: Ok Will, you ready for me?

**Will.**: Damn right

**Elizabeth.**: WHAT!

**Scully.**: Wait a minute! Shirts off.

**Will.**: WHAT?

**Mulder.**: Okay. Wait, why?

**Scully.**: God knows we didn't get enough shirtless Will.

**Elizabeth.**: You didn't, I did :D

**Mulder.**: Why do I feel like we're putting on a show for someone

**Scully.**: Oh shush. You chicken Mulder?

**Elizabeth.**: Yeah, shirts off gentlemen

**Mulder.**: psh, NO!

**Scully.**: Should I kiss Will again?

**Mulder.**: -tears shirt off-

Nooooo.

**Will.**: FINE!

**Elizabeth.**: -whispers- I'll kick your arse if you do

**Will.**: -sheathes sword, pulls off shirt-

**Scully.**: Oh I'll take you later Elizabeth. YAY! -CLAPS-

**Will.**: -unsheathes sword- Try me.

**Mulder.**: (dammit he looks really fit)

**Elizabeth.**: please don't die Will

**Scully.**: Oh he is so HOT.

**Elizabeth.**: again

**Scully.**: -totally drooling-

**Mulder.**: Alright, enough with the Will gushing! what am I, chopped liver?

**Scully.**: You're hot too, Mulder.

**Elizabeth.**: I'll root for you Fox. Woo

**Will.**: -points sword at mulder's chest- You try.

**Mulder.**: thanks. I thought we were arm wrestling!

**Scully.**: Hey swords no fair! I didn't say arm wrestling. I said WRESTLING.

**Mulder.**: or we could just have a verbal sparring match.

**Will.**: Oh. Fine. -throws sword in general direction of nowhere- No weapons. -puts arm on table-arm wrestle, then

**Mulder.**: -mimics action-

alright, on the count of three...

**Will.**: 1

2

3

**Mulder.**: -strains muscle-

**Will.**: -holds-

**Scully.**: GO!

GOO WILL!

**Mulder.**: (Gah can't hold much longer!)

**Will.**: -kicks mulder under table-

**Mulder.**: what?!

**Scully.**: -fangirly SCREAMING-

**Elizabeth.**: You can do it

**Will.**: lol kidding.

**Mulder.**: Suddenly Will has turned into Chuck Norris. owwwie!

**Scully.**: Turner, Turner, Turner, Turner, Go Whelp!

**Will.**: -still arm wrestling-

**Scully.**: Go Bandana Boy!

**Will.**: -not even sweating-

**Mulder.**: I can't fight Chuck Norris, Scully! -whines-

**Scully.**: Or Bandana MAN!

**Mulder.**: -losing grip-

**Will.**: Foxes can't beat Dragons.

**Mulder.**: You're a friggin DRAGON?!

**Scully.**: -fans self-

**Mulder.**: hey Will, what's that over there? -points across the room-

**Scully.**: Elizabeth, are you loving this?

**Will.**: I'm not that dense

**Elizabeth.**: -wanders off-

**Mulder.**: denied.

**Scully.**: Elizabeth!? Will, crush him already

**Mulder.**: Will, I don't think I can last much longer! -grunts-

**Elizabeth.**: Oh someone just win already

**Will.**: -grins- I'm only starting to turn slightly pink. -SLAM-

**Mulder.**: DAMMIT!

**Scully.**: YIPEE!

**Will.**: -smug-

**Scully.**: -hugs Will-

**Mulder.**: -wounded puppy look-

**Scully.**: You .. were... amazing.

**Mulder.**: thanks for the support, Scully.

**Scully.**: Mulder, you were pretty good too.

**Elizabeth.**: -gives Mulder kiss on cheek- You did your best

**Mulder.**: now you tell me.

**Scully.**: But you got what you deserved.

**Mulder.**: thanks, Elizabeth. I guess I did. -angst-

**Scully.**: Watch it, Elizabeth.

**Elizabeth.**: So, have you guys found any "aliens" lately?

**Mulder.**: watch what? It's not like you care about me, Scully. You have your precious WILL.

**Elizabeth.**: Lighten up Scully, I let you kiss my HUSBAND

**Scully.**: Dude, he's MARRIED. Like you were. -POUTS-

**Mulder.**: I'm sorry?

**Scully.**: Yeah right. No, we haven't found any aliens.

**Will.**: -laughs quietly-

**Mulder.**: uh oh... maybe he really is an alien...

**Scully.**: Something funny ?

**Elizabeth.**: -kisses Will's nose- I love it when you laugh

**Mulder.**: Scully, I think we need to check his neck again

**Scully.**: NO. Not again.

**Mulder.**: ok. It was worth a shot.

**Will.**: Haha, I know you do Elizabeth.

**Elizabeth.**: I'm bored

**Scully.**: Do you really think he is an alien?

**Elizabeth.**: Can we go outside yet?

**Scully.**: Uhh... sure.

**Mulder.**: I think Will has a girly laugh. Whether that makes him an alien, I really can't say.

**Elizabeth.**: Yay!

**Scully.**: -goes outside-

**Will.**: Excuse me?

**Mulder.**: -follows Scully-

**Elizabeth.**: -follows Mulder-

**Mulder.**: Hey Scully, my laugh isn't girly. Tell Will!

**Scully.**: -monotone- His laugh isn't girly.

**Will.**: -snicker-

**Mulder.**: -eyeroll-

**Scully.**: I think his laugh is cute.

**Mulder.**: you would.

**Scully.**: Right Elizabeth?

**Elizabeth.**: I guess so. Haven't heard it much. He always seems so...sad

**Will.**: Hah.

**Scully.**: Awww! How come?

**Mulder.**: I'm the king of sad...

**Will.**: I think… I'm gunna… er… lie down and fall asleep.

**Scully.**: -kisses Mulder's cheek- How about now?

**Mulder.**: -smiles- better

**Scully.**: So Elizabeth, I'm dying to know all the stuff that the movies don't tell us!

**Elizabeth.**: Well I don't know what the movies told you to begin with. I started watching AWE but no one else watched with me -whine-

**Scully.**: Well, for starters, I was disappointed with the lack of the SotB. Weren't you, Mulder?

**Mulder.**: duh.

**Scully.**: Me too!

**Elizabeth.**: Um..well...I'm not sure you want...-blushes- Sand. There was lots and lots of sand

**Scully.**: Oh come on. Will's not here, it's just us.. And...

**Mulder.**: I'm not an addict, Scully. -pouts-

**Elizabeth.**: But he was so gentle and when we touched...it was...oh, words can't describe it

**Mulder.**: Not when I have you. -forehead kiss-

**Scully.**: -swoons from Elizabeth and Mulder- …err from what Elizabeth said

**Mulder.**: don't say that, Scully. You'll ruin my fantasy.

**Scully.**: what fantasy?

**Mulder.**: -turns red- Nevermind.

**Elizabeth.**: It went on for hours and it felt like days. Our bodies swaying - becoming one

**Scully.**: -swoons-

**Elizabeth.**: And Will was my first just so you know. First and only

**Scully.**: Yes, yes I assumed. Must've been wonderful.

**Mulder.**: -gag-

**Elizabeth.**: -smacks Mulder-

**Scully.**: What was that fantasy you were going to tell us about Mulder? Thank you, Elizabeth.

**Elizabeth.**: Positively glorious. Yes, what is it?

**Mulder.**: uh... something about an inferno

**Scully.**: I want the whole thing. Out with it

**Mulder.**: not until Will wakes up! He'll understand... or not.

**Scully.**: You promise?

**Mulder.**: I promise.

**Scully.**: Okay. So Elizabeth, what did you do after that?

**Elizabeth.**: more

**Scully.**: I mean, after after

**Mulder.**: wow Will's a lucky guy. Scully doesn't go that long.

**Elizabeth.**: Not so lucky, he had to leave me

**Scully.**: Wha-? Mulder!

**Mulder.**: yes?

**Scully.**: I do so!

**Mulder.**: I was just kidding!

**Scully.**: -blushes- Er... carry on Elizabeth.

**Mulder.**: -smirks-

**Scully.**: soo... after after

**Elizabeth.**: he.left.to.ferry.souls

**Mulder.**: Will had to leave?

**Scully.**: and what did you do?

**Elizabeth.**: had our son as you well know

**Mulder.**: by yourself?

**Scully.**: alone?

**Mulder.**: aw Scully we were thinking the same thought!

**Elizabeth.**: well I don't know many people

**Scully.**: Yes :D So who helped you?

**Mulder.**: what about Jack Sparrow?

**Scully.**: And Ana? AnaMaria? From the first movie? The slapping one. I liked her.

**Elizabeth.**: Yeah, they helped but it didn't completely fill the void of living without my Will

**Mulder.**: that sucks.

**Elizabeth.**: Indeed

**Scully.**: The same sort of thing happened to me, believe it or not.

**Elizabeth.**: Really? Do tell/

**Mulder.**: yeah except I got tortured

**Scully.**: Try childbirth without painkillers and then we can talk about torture. ANYway.

**Elizabeth.**: Oh, I hear that

**Mulder.**: but my cheeks were stretched apart and I was strapped down and all I could do was yell for Scully! and she didn't come save me. -tear-

**Scully.**: You wanna try me on this, Mulder? Elizabeth can back me up here.

**Elizabeth.**: it.is.hell. pure and simple. Continue

**Scully.**: I couldn't save you, the same as you couldn't come to me.

**Mulder.**: yeah, sorry about that.

**Scully.**: so I realized I was pregnant

**Mulder.**: I would've come home if I could.

**Scully.**: And then he turned up dead.

**Mulder.**: yeah I was deadalive

**Elizabeth.**: aww -sad-

**Scully.**: And then three months later (after leaving me with DOGGETT) he comes back to life. Except people are out to get my child

**Mulder.**: yeah cause i'm cool like that.

**Scully.**: So I am taken with one other female agent to a remote location

**Mulder.**: the one who likes whale songs...

**Scully.**: with no resources for birth whatsoever. Aliens come to take my baby mid-labor… No one there to help me but Agent Reyes… Aliens leave… Mulder FINALLY comes… and... that's it

**Mulder.**: psh.

**Elizabeth.**: Aww. And what happened to your child again?

**Mulder.**: our child, Scully - he had your eyes

**Scully.**: I uh... I had to give him up. They ... they were after him. He was in danger. Mulder was gone again, and... I couldn't..

**Mulder.**: it tore me apart when I learned what she had done

**Elizabeth.**: :( Do you think you'll ever be reunited?

**Scully.**: I'm sorry for doing it to this day. But... I wanted my son... our son.. to be safe

**Mulder.**: it's alright, Scully. You did what you thought was right

**Scully.**: I hope so. I hope I'll meet him someday. So I can tell him I'm sorry

**Elizabeth.**: -wipes away tears-

**Mulder.**: We're not giving up on finding him.

**Scully.**: I'm sorry for giving up... my only child .. -cries- never seeing what he'll become, what he'll grow up to be

**Elizabeth.**: I hope you do find him eventually -hugs both-

**Scully.**: -hugs- -sniffles- Thanks.

**Mulder.**: -threeway hug!- if only we had Will, it would be a party.

**Scully.**: stop ruining the moment! -sniff sniff- -wipe tears-

**Mulder.**: my bad!

**Elizabeth.**: -sniff giggle-

**Scully.**: -giggle-

**Mulder.**: I have a tendency to do that... just ask Scully.

**Scully.**: Yes, he does.

**Mulder.**: I also only celebrate Scully's birthday in dog years.

**Elizabeth.**: Dog years…?

**Will.**: -wakes up-

**Scully.**: WOOHOO! fantasy TIME

**Mulder.**: great.

**Scully.**: Will, Mulder wants to share his fantasy with us. We were talking about SotB

**Mulder.**: I changed my mind.

**Will.**: ...Uh...

**Scully.**: But he wanted to wait till you got back to talk about it!

**Elizabeth.**: Sorry, you can't do that

**Scully.**: Can't what?

**Mulder.**: oh fine!

**Elizabeth.**: can't change your mind

**Scully.**: Oh yay!

**Will.**: -complains- What is going on?

**Mulder.**: Will, Scully made it sound like she was attracted to Elizabeth. and so, this inferno thing came to mind...

**Scully.**: Um, no

**Elizabeth.**: What?

**Mulder.**: I thought you might understand.

**Scully.**: Inferno?

**Mulder.**: -cringe-

**Will.**: -interested-

**Scully.**: Huh?

**Mulder.**: why couldn't Will be Steve?! Or even Norrie?! -cries-

**Will.**: James Norrington!?

**Mulder.**: yeah. -sniffle- I always liked him in the movies.

**Will.**: You did?

**Mulder.**: he always kept getting royally screwed and I could identify.

**Scully.**: I liked his upstanding morals. Until the second movie.. But he usually played by the rules.

**Will.**: yeah, well, he was a bastard in the second one.

**Mulder.**: then you just liked the scruff.

**Scully.**: SCRUFF!

**Will.**: Elizabeth didn't, right?

**Mulder.**: scratchy beard and all that

**Will.**: -glances at Elizabeth- RIGHT?

**Scully.**: But she KISSED him in the third!

**Elizabeth.**: oh yeah

**Mulder.**: heh

**Will.**: You didn't... like like him, did you?

**Elizabeth.**: Um, actually he kissed me

**Will.**: -feeling insecure-

HE WHAT!?

**Mulder.**: Scully, you liked my scruff. Admit it.

**Scully.**: -mimics Mulder- You participated.

**Elizabeth.**: Like a brother, yes (except for the kissing)

**Will.**: WHEN!? WHEN DID HE KISS YOU?

**Scully.**: I did.

**Mulder.**: excellent!

**Scully.**: I did like the Scruff.

**Elizabeth.**: Before he died :(

**Mulder.**: you want me to grow it back?

**Will.**: ...-softens- Oh

**Scully.**: Hell no. Yes, it was very touching.

**Will.**: You let him?

**Mulder.**: fine, I'll just keep shaving.

**Elizabeth.**: Well, he was going to die...

**Mulder.**: but you didn't know that!

**Elizabeth.**: Give him one last hurrah before going away

**Will.**: You knew he would die?

**Scully.**: A lot of people you kiss die, Elizabeth

**Mulder.**: that's so true, Scully!

**Scully.**: Jack... Norrie... Sao Feng... Will

**Elizabeth.**: It's like an X-File

**Will.**: Hey, you leave her alone!

**Mulder.**: just don't kiss me, Elizabeth

**Elizabeth.**: did I say that out loud?

**Will.**: It's her issue and she can deal with it herself.

**Scully.**: You already died?

**Mulder.**: it is like an X-File!

**Will.**: Well, yes.

**Scully.**: How are we going to investigate this?!

**Mulder.**: Well, you know what they say FBI stands for...

**Will.**: ...no?

**Mulder.**: nevermind.

**Scully.**: no, do tell us.

**Elizabeth.**: frosted brownies inside

**Scully.**: mulder -warning-

**Mulder.**: Female Body Inspector. There, I said it and I feel better for it

**Will.**: Brr... ow... knees?

**Mulder.**: what's with the warning?

**Scully.**: -gasp-

**Elizabeth.**: -pats Will on the head- It's a cooking thing.

**Will.**: -purrs at being patted on head- Oh. Alright.

**Mulder.**: wow. cool!

**Elizabeth.**: what?

**Mulder.**: aren't you two gonna make out or what?

**Elizabeth.**: What, now?

**Mulder.**: yeah!

**Scully.**: -aside to Mulder- is this our investigation?

**Elizabeth.**: -slaps Mulder-

**Mulder.**: ow!! She hit me!

**Elizabeth.**: I don't want to kill Will again

**Scully.**: Hey, take it easy!

**Elizabeth.**: -whines-

**Will.**: Elizabeth!

**Mulder.**: Scully!

**Scully.**: You've kissed him after tha- Mulder!

**Elizabeth.**: He was already dead technically at that point

**Mulder.**: Just felt like shouting your name.

**Scully.**: I'm sure its fine.

**Elizabeth.**: Ok -kisses Will, passionately-

**Mulder.**: -biggrin-

**Will.**: -smirks inwardly-

**Scully.**: Mulder!

**Mulder.**: yeah?

**Scully.**: stop grinning.

**Mulder.**: why?

**Elizabeth.**: -gets hot-

**Scully.**: because its weird

**Elizabeth.**: -and turned on-

**Mulder.**: -bigger grin-

**Scully.**: Okay... we're going to just go over here for a little while -pulls Mulder away-

**Mulder.**: yeah and makeout ourselves!

**Scully.**: who said anything about a makeout?

**Mulder.**: ooh, I like it when you get rough with me scully -winks-

**Will.**: -pulls away slightly- Well?

**Scully.**: ... shut up.

**Mulder.**: shutting up!! -smooch-

**Elizabeth.**: -deeps breaths- How was that?

**Scully.**: -kissing-

**Elizabeth.**: hello?

**Will.**: -speechless-

**Mulder.**: -tonguing-

**Will.**: It was a bit sudden. But I liked it.

**Scully.**: -weak in the knees-

**Mulder.**: -holds on to Scully for dear life-

**Elizabeth.**: Hello you two?

**Mulder.**: -comes up for air-

**Scully.**: -pulls away to breath-

**Mulder.**: Wow, Scully.

**Scully.**: Mulder..

**Mulder.**: fireworks. It's always fireworks with you.

**Scully.**: you bet your ass it is. -embarrassed- Er.. sorry Will, Elizabeth.

**Elizabeth.**: -big grin- Will's not dead. See

**Mulder.**: don't be embarrassed - they started it!

**Will.**: Oh, yeah, blame it on us

**Scully.**: That's good news!

**Elizabeth.**: I always get blamed for something

**Scully.**: you did start it..

**Mulder.**: me too

**Will.**: we both do.

**Mulder.**: I already did! Sheesh. er... inferno?

**Elizabeth.**: Sounds hot

**Mulder.**: Yes. Lesbian Spank Inferno... starring you and Elizabeth. Happy now?

**Will.**: What is with you and porn?

**Elizabeth.**: ...ok, maybe not so hot

**Scully.**: I didn't need to know that.

**Mulder.**: you asked!

**Scully.**: Well I thought it wouldn't be something like THAT!

**Mulder.**: i'm sorry -tear-

**Elizabeth.**: And you're crying b/c...

**Mulder.**: I FAIL AT LIFE

**Will.**: -muffled- What a surprise

**Mulder.**: oh shut it Mr. I'll Never Be A Pirate

**Elizabeth.**: Will, be nice

**Mulder.**: well look at you now!

**Will.**: Sorry Elizabeth.

**Mulder.**: Scully, I wanna go home -whines-

**Scully.**: Fine. I guess we have to go.

**Elizabeth.**: -whispers to ScullY- the drugs must be wearing off

**Mulder.**: take me home, Scully.

**Scully.**: Yeah, and I don't have any more for him. OKAY CHILL!

**Mulder.**: -withdrawal-

**Scully.**: Good to see you two again!

**Elizabeth.**: Well, I guess we have to take this booth...thing home. YOU TOO

**Will.**: Bye

**Scully.**: Sorry about the whole... kissing your husband thing.

**Will.**: -crosses arms- Well it wasn't bad.

**Scully.**: -winks at Will- Bye, Will!

**Mulder.**: bye bye

**Will.**: See ya.

**Mulder.**: wahhhh.

**Scully.**: Another time, maybe :D

**Elizabeth.**: I'll give you something next time Mulder ;)

**Mulder.**: oh that works.

**Elizabeth.**: to even the score

**Mulder.**: I appreciate that, Elizabeth

**Will.**: -whines-

**Scully.**: The score will be far from even when I get done with Will.

**Will.**: What!

**Elizabeth.**: Ugh, men. Come on Will

**Mulder.**: Scul-eeeee

**Scully.**: Come on Mulder. Mulderrrrrrrrrrr

**Mulder.**: I'm coming. Wheeeeeee!

**Scully.**: Bye! -waves-

**Will.**: -follows Elizabeth-

**Mulder.**: drugs are fun.

**Scully.**: drugs are fun.

**Mulder.**: that's what I said

**Scully.**: really Mulder?! Really. Let's go home.

**Mulder.**: really really

**Elizabeth.**: Must be an alien species

**Scully.**: Enough of that.

**Will.**: Yeah

**Scully.**: -drags Mulder home-

**Elizabeth.**: -vanish-

**Mulder.**: -whimpers- I'm tired, Scully.

**Scully.**: Almost there. Here we are, now sleep.

**Mulder.**: -snork-


End file.
